Hillel Update strives to provide a witty, satirical view of current events at Hillel Yeshiva HS. VeNomar Amen.


Monday, February 13, 2012

Hillel University Opens Its Doors

DEAL, NJ -- Tzvi Gefen, a Hillel Senior, opened a letter marked "A0000001" today. This letter was, in fact, the first acceptance letter to be printed by Hillel University. The University will be built around the land currently occupied by Hillel Yeshiva. Affectionately called HU, the school will consist of 4 campuses, housing 6 Schools, 2 Recreational Areas, Offices, Dorms and more.

Students are expected to get between campuses via Skyway. One Skyway location is found on each campus. Each campus also has a Box, for easy access to refreshments. Students will receive dorm assignments based on proximity to their course locations.

A map of Hillel University
The University is divided in to 4 campuses.
CAMPUS A
The Norman Greenberg School Of Computer Science offers students a comprehensive education in the fields of programming, game design, IT Solutions and Daf Yomi.
Hanunu Institute For Hebrew Language Studies teaches the art of the Hebrew Language, ranging from Modern Ivrit to Chumash Hebrew to Rosetta Sketch courses.

CAMPUS B
Hillel College is HU's Undergraduate Academy. Majors range from Marine Biology to Parasha, and everything in between.
Doc Academy of Business teaches courses in Business, Economics, Film and Ona'ah.
The 79 Acres Park is an open area for students to enjoy nature, work quietly or simply socialize. Student-run clubs meet here.
Student Council Office is the headquarters of the Ovadia Administration. Students are encouraged to throw rocks at the bulletproof windows.

CAMPUS C
Kantor Institute for Mathematics handpicks 7th graders for an advanced Mathematical education, ranging from Physics to Geometry, Calculus to Origami.
Saka Library is a quiet place for students to do research. A wealth of Torah and Secular books are held within its shelves.
Shalom Student Recreational Complex/Lounge is our revamped Shalom Lounge. Coffee Tables are back!

CAMPUS D
Hillel Yeshiva complex is home to the Early Learning Center, Elementary School, Middle School and High School. 
ELC Gym is home to HU's rigorously optional Phys Ed program, and a Vocabulary Study lab.
Hillel Update Office is where the real magic happens -- the publication center of the Update. The greatest minds meet here to discuss and create news. DOESN'T EXIST NEVER MIND

Whether HU will have a Hillel is unconfirmed.

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