DEAL, NJ -- The results are in! Hillel Yeshiva students recently voted on new members for Student Council. The seven positions -- President, Male & Female Vice President, Male & Female Secretary, Male & Female Treasurer -- are now all occupied by new members.
Leon Ebani is now the President. He completely ad-libbed his speech, writing "speak from the heart" on a piece of paper. The Ebani Administration hopes to "revolutionize the bagel system" among many unannounced projects.
Ricky Tawil was elected Vice President, unopposed. He did not campaign, nor did he give a speech. He is known for working the box and on seminar.
Odette Ades was elected Vice President, unopposed. She is yet to contact us with a statement.
Lee Matalon was elected Secretary, on the platform of FUN. He promises that "the Update will never become a state controlled publication."
Mariel Dweck was elected Secretary. She hopes to bring an end-of-day Meeting period so seniors can leave early -- something assured by administration "will not happen."
Jack al-Boucai was elected Treasurer, unopposed. His campaign was based on "winning the Syrian way: unopposed." He narrowly beat Al Sultan and Sharpe James.
Shira Harary was elected Treasurer, promising new programs for both boys and girls. Rumors are circulating that she will cancel the Ivrit department.
Former President Ovadia Harary was recently arrested for a court-packing scheme. No details have been released, but more information is to follow.
Hillel Update strives to provide a witty, satirical view of current events at Hillel Yeshiva HS. VeNomar Amen.
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