Hillel To Offer SemiNar Class

DEAL, NJ -- "The Seniors just can't get enough" VP-Elect Ricky Tawil, "they love SemiNar." Hillel's SemiNar weekend is known to be dominated by the Seniors, who run circles, comedy and ruckus. "Something had to be done to appease them." Hillel Yeshiva HS will, for the first time in history, be offering a class fully dedicated to SemiNar.

"It's technically called 'Leadership Seminar,'" said a student who has applied for the class. "We don't really know what the class is about. But it sounds cool. And hey: SemiNar." It is still unknown who will be teaching the class. Students have pestered various administrators and extracted tidbits of information: there supposedly will be a lot of reading. The teacher is could be new to Hillel, and may have around 35 years of experience.

A curriculum portfolio was leaked by the aforementioned portfolios. The class will be covering all aspects of SemiNar. It is to be taught in 7 units: Intro to SemiNar, Hazzanut, Circles, Sessions, Comedy and Ruckus, and will be divided into a Part A (SemiNar Attendance) and Part B (SemiNar Planning). Each unit will have a guest speaker and a test.

Intro to SemiNar is the longest unit, spanning September through December. It covers general semiNar etiquette -- the ins and outs of being a student on  SemiNar . "Students," according to the curriculum, "will learn the basic rules of going on  SemiNar : the songs, the games, the ruckus tactics, etc." Tests will be administered in September, October and November. Students will not be tested in December, but instead receive a participation grade on SemiNar itself. The midterm in January will cover all of this material. (Part A). Speaking will be Burnout Bill himself.

Hazzanut is the shortest unit and covers the basics of being a Hazzan on SemiNar. Students will be given the skills to read the Torah eloquently, as well as to choose the right tunes for Nakdishach. This short unit will be taught in early January. Its material will be tested on the Midterm. The planned guest speaker is Saka Charles.

Circles is the unit for February. Students will learn all of the songs in the SemiNar booklet, including 'Puff the Kosher Dragon' and 'Shake It Up Zaide' (PAGE 10, SONG 26). They are expected to know when to initiate what song -- essentially, which are fast and slow. Additionally, they'll learn how to run a singing circle. The guest speakers will be Me and Ze Boys.

Sessions will the taught in March. The topic of said unit is how to deliver successful SemiNar sessions. Every student is expected to be able to run a session, and toac a speech after learning the topic 3 minutes earlier. Miscellaneous lessons such as arranging chairs and making posters are included. The speaker is a mystery Reebay (Mystereebay).

Comedy in April will discuss the all important aspect of Saturday night SemiNar entertainment. Students will make videos, assemble skits and learn dances. Additionally, they will experience an authentic all-nighter, called "SemiNar Thursday" by those in the know. The SemiNar Thursday project will have students broken up into groups of three. Each student will be assigned either a skit, video or dance to make. The group must then collaborate to have a Saturday Night show ready by 5:00 AM. Albert Tawil will be guest-speaking.

Ruckus is the long awaited final unit of the class, taught in May. Students are taught how to prepare for a SemiNar ruckus. Skills include stealing pillows and making water balloons out of shower caps. They are also taught how to maintain a constant speed while running, and tips for causing as much collateral damage as possible. Students are expected to display a minimum Love of Hashem. Speaking will be Dr. Nathan Cohen, YmD (Young Magen Doctorate).

The final exam will test only on the second half of the year. The first part of the two part test is multiple choice. The second part is ruckus demonstration. Anyone who gets above a 65 is invited to be an adviser for the coming year's SemiNar.

"In short," said an administrator, "it's a great idea."