EXCLUSIVE: An Interview With Uriya Teherani

DEAL, NJ -- He's the kid who struck it rich selling soda. He's the National Foosball League World Champion. He's a world class photographer. But do we really know who Uriya Teherani is? The Hillel Update had made a mission of finding out. Now, for the first time ever, Uriya's interview will be shared with the public.

Hillel Update: We're here with Uriya "Uriya2014" Teherani, over lunch for an interview. Uriya, say hi to the audience.
Uriya Teherani: Hey whats up
HU: We're just going to ask you a couple of questions. So, your Instagram account is pretty popular. What led you to launch the Instagram account?
UT: Actually, once I got my iPhone 5 I wanted to do it. I saw that everyone else was on it every second of the day, so I figured why not.
HU: And your weekly Shabbat Shalom pictures. Where do you get them from?
UT: I just look it up, on Google Images. Sometimes I find it in, like, different kinds of places.
HU: Many might remember you from the soda-selling days, but you recently got out of that business. Do you have any regrets?
UT: What do you mean?
HU: Do you regret getting out of the soda business?
UT: Yeah, I guess. I didn't have a choice. They came to me and said 'you have to stop selling.' I would be selling now if they didn't stop me.
HU: So is the amount of money you made selling soda over the years -- is that a public number? Or is it private?
UT: Um... I guess I made... I made over, like, five grand.
HU: $5000?!
UT: I made like $40 a day.
HU: Other students might remember you for your amazing Foosball skills. How'd you do it? Did you practice?
UT: Actually, in Israel, my uncles had a Foosball table at home. They were so good -- they played so well -- they actually broke the people. The way they spin it, they actually broke the peoples' heads when they tried to play.
HU: And that's where you got your practice, from an early age?
UT: Yeah. I'm getting this story, like, every day. (?)
HU: If you could be one person from the Torah, who would you be?
UT: ...that's a great question, that's a great question. (pause) I don't know.
HU: Let me rephrase it. If you could MEET one person, who would it be?
UT: Adam. I guess. It's like saying, 'if you could meet one person from history, who would it be?'
HU: Ok, you tell me. If you could meet one person from history, who would it be?
UT: ...honestly, I'd want to show Hitler how he messed up. How everything he lived for failed.
HU: So you'd meet Hitler and tell him where he went wrong. It's very deep and very interesting. Never thought about it.
UT: I'm in Holocaust [Literature class] so I think about these things.
HU: Many students wonder what makes you so awesome. Do you have a secret?
UT: Not really. I hang out with everyone, not just a specific group of people. I try to make it to special events in school.
Isaac Tawil: Do you want to go to Dean's after lunch?
HU: Isaac Tawil, Uriya's being interviewed for the Hillel Update. Please say Hi for the interview.
IT: Is he actually being interviewed?
HU: Yes.
IT: Hi interview.

Uriya Teherani with his private bodyguard Isaac Tawil

HU: Do you have any advice for the readers of the blog? How to be good students, be more awesome, anything?
UT: I guess in school, you probably want to be on your teacher's good side. There are people who sleep in class and get away with it, and those who get kicked out. A lot of kids in my class actually do that.
HU: One more question. Where does the '2014' in 'Uriya2014' come from?
UT: Originally it was 'Uriya2013'
HU: I remember that
UT: I did like, for the next year. Like, now it's 2013, so I did '2014.'
HU: Thank you Uriya.

Note: this is a transcription of an actual interview. The audio file is available from the Update Dept. of Records, P.O. Box 18101.