Third Floor Flooded, Swim Team Established

DEAL, NJ -- A chain of events recently unfolded, involving teachers, students and a whole lot of water. After second period, a copious amounts of water were found to be gushing from the Boys' Bathroom on the third floor. The source of the water was later determined to be an overflowing toilet.

Assessment & Damage Control began immediately. Teachers used their bodies to define safety boundaries around the Flash Flood zones, while a brave teacher trekked inside to determine the source. It was found to be the backmost toilet. The stream creeped into a science classroom before it was cleaned up. The flow of water -- from the front of the school to the back -- interestingly revealed that the foundation of the entire building is on a slight angle.

The school's response? Utilizing the new 3rd Floor Swimming Pool for Phys Ed., and establishing a Swim Team. The team's captain and coach Nathan Ades is enthusiastic about the team he is training, called the Hillel Rivulets, or in Hebrew, הפלגים הילל.

Rivulet [riv-YOO-let] (n): A small river or stream. [Heb: פלג PE-leg]

The Hillel Rivulets will be having their first Swim Meet with the Maayanot Rapids, which is actually their Basketball team. The meet will be located at Hillel, on the third floor. Hillel's spectator is expected to sit in the Psychology Office.

"I'm so excited to be on our first swim team!" said Rivulets star Mitchell Parker, who can't actually swim, "But I'm disappointed that we're not competing with Flatbush." Flatbush was not eligible for the league as it's pool is not big enough. Maor, who will be using the Deal Womens' Mikveh, will be competing.

And Hillel's new pool is growing into a business venture for other students. Jesse Rothstein and Isaac Sasson have launched Sasstein Kayak, which rents the pool from the school in exchange for 10% of profits being wired to the Box. Sasstein Kayak would be required provide for a potential rowing team as well. President Ovadia Harary is "very excited" that Hillel life is finally including Boats.

"I'm just happy that Hillel is finally recognizing such an important sport" said Rivulets swimmer Leo Hanono, who rates Swimming only second to Driving.