Brave Student Returns Aristotle To Rightful Place

DEAL, NJ -- After surviving a murder attempt, Aristotle went missing. His location was unknown for around 24 hours. The blame was thrown around, teachers were searched, and the Update launched a Twitter campaign (#WheresAristotle).

When the investigators had given up and hope was all but lost, a brave student went forth and found the missing philosopher. Jesse Antebi, (11th), is credited with leading the pivotal rescue mission. A picture was posted to on his Twitter late last night in response to the campaign. Update reporters spent the night determining the legitimacy of the image.

Antebi posted a picture to Twitter late last night.

"We couldn't see the blue yarmulke or the chest fractures, which would have been telltale signs that this image was real" claimed Update-funded investigators.

Reporters from both the Update and the Hillel Herald went to confirm Aristotle's return. The Herald's article on this fiasco is expected to run in their next issue, which will debut just in time for Passover.

Antebi has achieved a level of fame in Hillel. He's received multiple offers to become a Private Eye. The most prominent lost objects include 10 Cases of Philadelphia Cream Cheese, the keyboard for the middle computer in the Library, and a Pink Spaldeen.

The 4 statues -- 2 Homers and 2 Aristotles -- are now sitting in the office window of their department with satirical speech bubbles above them. O'Shean, however was not present.