JV Heat beats Middle School Panthers

DEAL NJ -- In a shocking triumph, Hillel's JV Basketball team beat the Middle School Hockey team. The score was close -- 14-12, with the Heat pulling ahead in the last 10 minutes. The Panthers felt bad, but the Heat was ecstatic over what they called a "historic victory."

The majority of the 3rd and 4th quarters was a deadlock in which the illegitimate game's only ball got stuck behind the bleachers. Most of the time was spent trying retrieve it. With 6 minutes left on the clock, Pierre retrieved the ball and passed it to the Heat. They stole an opportunity to score just as the Panthers returned from their trip to 7-11.

"We left to get slurpees at halftime" commented a 6th grader "and were surprised that they were not only able to get the ball back, but actually put it in the basket." The clock read 5:58:52 when the ball was put in play. The final score was registered at 1:03:37. "I can't believe they were able to coordinate a score in just under 5 minutes."

The star of the JV Heat after shooting the winning basket

"I can't believe we finally beat another team!" remarked a Sophomore Jeremy Laniado. "All that summer training finally paid off!" continued the 10th grader, who reportedly scored 5 runs, 2 touchdowns and a hole-in-one.

The after-game moments were truly a scene. Some were singing "We Are The Champions" while others Tebowed on the bleachers. In celebration, the Sophomores pooled their pocket change to share a Red Bull. A Freshmen proudly declared "I'm not doing my homework tonight!" after winning the unscheduled game.

The Panthers weren't too crushed but the defeat. "Whatever, they're a High School team," commented the Middle School Goalie, "I don't get why the feel better beating the MS Panthers at Basketball." This was the attitude found throughout most of the 6-8th graders. "Hey, coach took us for slurpees, that was pretty fun."

The unofficial game was played at Leon B. Smock 80-Acres park. The referee, a woman who was walking her dog, commented "no habla ingles." The JV coach was not in attendance as he "had something to do at a place." He was seen during the game at Slices with his 5 year old son, who is reportedly "aboose hayatak."