Fan Bus Goes Missing

The Hillel Heat Fan Bus to the Cooper Invitational -- missing for two days -- has returned home with no casualties. The driver was Morris from Seman Tov (the guy your mom calls when Avi screws up). The only passenger was a Jesse Rothstein, a Hillel Senior.

Rothstein decided to rent a bus for Heat fanatics and depart early. The bus left Thursday, directly after school. After a quick stop at Sarah's tent, the bus embarked for Memphis. 

First came the mechanical difficulties. After enduring numerous failures, including the AC, Fuel Injector and Power Brakes, it was decided that repairs were necessary. The bus pulled into a local repair station and phoned ahead, stating they'd be two hours late. That was the last that was heard from them. 

Last photograph taken before bus disappears.

Night came and the team settled in, with no signs of the bus. Hillel Center Daniel Teren suggested that the authorities be called, but the team neglected that option in favor of a kumzits circle. Within minutes, Tov Lehodot was supplied.

The next morning, word reached the Team that the bus had safely returned to Hillel after being confronted by Bandits. "The bus driver almost got us killed," tells Rothstein, "but luckily we were able to barter with the almost-murderers with the mazza we brought for the team."

The impressed criminals decided to run off without harming the bus. "We really liked the torpedo shaped things, and the meat discs were phenomenal."

The Yeshiva Basketball Association has agreed to reimburse Hillel for the collateral damage -- including a 

new engine, a tank of diesel, "and those small pizzas with the ground meat."

You can follow Daniel Teren on Twitter @Dtorrancee