TEANECK, NJ - The Hillel Panthers recently suffered a humiliating defeat of 9-0 against TABC. But this was not at Hillel's lack of ability. The team came fully prepared to win the game, when something unexpected happened.
Last year, TABC was #1 overall. Should they drop to #21 in the league, it would be quite a disappointment. "We had to make a difference" suggested Hillel player Solomon Sultan. "If it means losing on purpose, its worth it to boost TABC's confidence."
Hillel set out to cheer up their opponents. After free cake and a clown failed to do it, the decision was to engineer a loss. "We considered putting inexperienced freshmen on the line," said player Aaron Bivas, "but we'd still likely win. The only option was to stand on the field and fake playing." They did exactly that.
Players took opposing sides and to play. Hillel allowed TABC to score 9 goals during the game while making it look realistic -- a skill usually reserved for Pro Wrestling.
"I saw a blue-eyed toddler in the crowd, and I couldn't stand to make that face sad" said Panthers Captain Joe Epstein, "I feel like we did the right thing."
TABC went home with an easy victory, but Hillel was the REAL winner. "There's no greater Mitzvah than making somebody happy" commented a student on the Fan Bus.
Hillel Update strives to provide a witty, satirical view of current events at Hillel Yeshiva HS. VeNomar Amen.
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