Hillel Update strives to provide a witty, satirical view of current events at Hillel Yeshiva HS. VeNomar Amen.


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Dialect Issues Cause Bagel Shortage

DEAL, NJ - A recent shortage of Bagels -- the staple crop of Hillel's economy -- has caused a panic among the student body. On further investigation, it appeared that the Egg ET-to-Cinnamon Raisin ratio was way off the charts. This left a lack of Egg ET and a surplus of Cinnamon Raisin, which, in the words of one student, "are nish."



The Bagel Commission has looked into the situation. "What we found," commented an anonymous source, "was that a difference in dialect caused the responsible person not to order Bagels, but to order Beggles." It is clear why the order did not go through -- there is no such thing as Beggles.

"I was working on it all day" said Student Council President Ovadia Harary.

All dialectic issues have been resolved, and the Bagels have been returned.

2 comments:

  1. Chinese is up $1, for what its worth. We also don't deal with J-Café, however, were you to put iBrgr down 100, it'd be humorous.

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  2. those are the share values, not the market prices. ie a bagel is worth $1.07 but the market price is $1.00 (good deal). if chinese shares drop below $6.00, you will have to lower the Sale Price to avoid Shtut.

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