SPORTS: Hillel Heat Destroys Fasman Yeshiva, Lamp

Hillel Yeshiva's Varsity Basketball Team, the Heat, just finished its first game in the Cooper Invitational Tournament. Competitors are ranked in three categories:

SY Division (Hillel Yeshiva, Magen David)
Schools Which Tex Attends Division (Beren)
Miscellaneous Ashkenaz Schools Division (The rest)

The Heat beat Fasman Yeshiva 45-35. Fasman Yeshiva (which is not pronounced "Yeh-SHEE-vah" but actually "Yuh-SHIV-uh" -- and they'll get upset about it) is from Skokie, Illinois. Jake Pollack writes that "this was a true thriller."

On the way to the bathroom, Hillel center Daniel Teren knocked over a lamp. As his elbow brushed past it, he realized it was too late to save it. He decided to forfeit the lamp with dignity and let it come crashing down. The lamp hit the ground and broke into multiple pieces. The pieces traveled a short distance and then settled. Anyone could have tried to justify it, but it was clear that the lamp was lost.

A miscellaneous custodian at Cooper Yeshiva said not to worry, and that the lamp was old anyway. The 6'1" Hillel player insisted on paying for the lamp, while secretly hoping the janitor would say no. The custodian, identified only as "Herbert" replied "Boop Boop."

The lamp will be replaced by the Yeshiva Basketball Association.
Hillel is slated to play YULA in the next round.
Teren never made it to the bathroom.

You can follow Daniel Teren on Twitter @Dtorrancee